Old Sweatshirts

Sometimes I just have to wear my raggy sweatshirt. Do you ever have days like that? My sweatshirt is hideous, but I LOVE it. It is my old green Disneyland sweatshirt that I got when Krista and I went to Disneyland almost 10 years ago. I know it is not attractive. I know it is worn...horribly. I know I should throw it out, but there are days when I need to wear it. Today is one of those days, I guess. Not a bad day. Just a day...that's all.

The Power of a Beard

Steve grew a beard. I can't believe I didn't take a picture for you to see, but it was very manly. Ian kept asking for him to shave it, but Evan liked it. So, today when he cut it off this is how it went as Evan coward against me trying to get as far away from Steve as possible.
Evan, "You don't have a mustache so you are not a daddy anymore."
Steve, "I am not a daddy anymore?"
Evan, "No, we need to get a new daddy."
Me because I like to plant negative ideas in my children's heads, "Do you still like daddy."
Evan, "No!"

Fortunately, an hour later he realized Steve was still his daddy and let him brush his teeth and put him to bed. Thank goodness. I would have hated to be a single mother at bedtime.

Steve is Huge. Steve is a giant.

Just ask his kids. The first "date" we went on, before we were a family, Amanda rode on Steve's shoulders. She was amazed. He was so big to her. All she could say in her cute little voice was how huge, huge, huge he was.

The other day in the car Evan said, "Daddy you are tall. You are a giant."

And Steve said, "Why thank you young man. I am huge. Watch me flex my sexy biceps."

No, he didn't really say it, but I could see the small twitch on the side of his mouth that means something like, "You are right, son. I am huge. And someday you will be too."

Then Evan would say, "I a big boy dad. I Evan."

Leave it to Disney to teach them the ways of the world....

Scene: Amanda, Ian, and Evan wrestling, laughing, having a great time. Steve yelling at the dog for eating Evan's dinner. Me texting my girls, two of which are at homecoming looking way to pretty for my comfort level. We are all in our own little world.

Jackass

A bit of a shock, huh? Ian called Amanda a jackass. Plain as day. I didn't get it at first. I was dazed by it or maybe use to hearing profanity at the drop of a dime.

All of us laughed way too hard, then asked him where he had heard it. We blamed it on the neighbor's kids.

Guess where he said he heard it? Pinocchio. Funny thing is, I can't argue with that. It is true. Why do they say that in that movie?

As Steve was trying to correct Ian, he told him the only time he is allowed to say that is if he is on a donkey farm. I remember having to read that word aloud in Sunday school. Yikes!

Well, I am off to settle my big ass in a chair and watch a movie with my husband. If Disney can say it, I guess I can too.

See My Injury

I got a text from Coral a couple of days ago with the question, "See my injury?" Hmmm, should I tell you what happened, or should I make you wait until tomorrow. OK, I'll tell you.

I knew it wasn't real, and it still freaked me out. She participated in a training drill at the hospital as part of a medical class she is taking at school. She was in the second worst "state", the first being dead.

She is alright though. A little makeup remover and she was good to go. A few breakouts, but no permanent damage.

Invasion of the Flexers

Today we were invaded by Spiderman and a Ninja. Scary....

Give a man a mirror, or any audience for that matter, and he will flex. Why is that? Why is that instilled in the male species? Can you imagine a bunch of women flexing at each other and then bumping their chest together? Somehow, we just don't relate to this little thing they do. But, today my sons did that. Give them some "muscles", and they will run around flexing and slamming into each other. Just like Steve, my brother, my brother-in-law, Ryan.....It is seriously one of the weirdest, yet funniest, things I have every seen.

Things That Make Me Want To Crawl In A Hole

We were at Fred Meyer the other day....yes, I am there often. Evan was sitting in the shopping cart observing everything and chattering away about it all. I was unloading my grocery cart when I heard him say, "You have a big tummy." As I am jerking my head up, I hear, "Yes, I do have a big tummy."

Somebody beam me out of here! What do you do in a situation like that? I look up to see this very large woman that...works there. Let me say again, I go here often. So, I did the only thing that came to my mind. I start talking. I tell her the story of when one of my girls told me I had a big bottom while I was pulling up my pants in a public restroom. She just smiled like I was an idiot. No matter how much I tried to make her feel better, my bum is half the size of hers. That would be like one of my girls trying to tell me they can relate to the humiliation I would feel in a situation like that.

This reminded me of the time Tiffani saw a lady with very orangish hair in a very small office. She shouted out, "Look mommy a clown." She was still a little hard to understand, and I was quicker on my feet back then. I responded, "No, Honey you can't get down." I wonder if it worked or if the lady just thought I should figure out how to understand my 2-year-old.

So, every time I go through the checkout at the grocery store, I just pretend like nothing happened. I just put duct tape over Evan's mouth. I wonder if she notices.

A Perfect Picture of the Pacific Northwest

I don't think I have ever seen a picture that represents where we live more that this one. Did you notice the sun is shinning, there is a giant rain cloud, and lots of rain coming down on a beautiful green tree and green grass? This is my son's view of what he sees outside most days. Very precise. Very accurate. Completely adorable.

Cough, Cough, Cough, Etc.

I think I am going to cough so hard I jar something out of place. Women who have had six children shouldn't cough this hard. It could be very embarrassing. Have you ever tried to kegel and cough at the same time? It does not work.

Ah, bronchitis....you've came to visit again. How nice.