Moments

There are so many moments in 43 years. It is hard to comprehend

The people I have known,

The places I have been,

The laughter,

The tears,

The love,

The hatred,

The joy,

The pain,

The peace,

The devastation.

Simple moments,

Life changing moments

Have composed my life.

As I sit and reflect on these areas of my life, my heart is consumed with emotion.

How did I get here?

It went too fast.

I love being the mother of adult children, but my heart can hardly bear that they are grown. Sometimes I am reminded of what has come and gone. I wish I would have stopped in the midst of changing diapers and kissing owies and tried to freeze those moments in my soul. I wish I remembered more.

I wish I could go back for a moment.

Just one moment.

I would like to hold them on my lap again, smell their little heads once more and tell them how much they mean to me as they squirm to get down and go play.

But, I can't, and I now know that this is not forever. This moment will also pass. So, as I sit here with my grandson on my lap, I will try to consume his precious smile that I am seeing through my tears. I will reflect on the moments gone by but try not to stay there too long. This moment is sitting right here in front of me, and I don't want to miss it.