I Am Needed

There are days when I wonder if I fell off the planet if anyone would notice. There are days when I wonder if they would notice when they no longer had clean undies, the bathroom started to smell, or their tummies started to rumble. But, then there are days when it all makes sense. When life is confirmed, and I know I am here for a reason. It is a sad truth that sometimes it takes yucky stuff to open our eyes to that fact that we really do need each other.

I hurt when my children hurt, more than I will ever be able to describe or even comprehend, but when my children hurt they want me. No one else really, just mommy. No matter how old they get or how independent they become, there are days when they need me. There are days when they look up I am there, and they realize that I am where they left me the last time they hurt. Standing there waiting to hold them, comfort them, place a cool cloth on their forehead.

I know my children love me. I am one of those moms that does know that deep down in my guts, without doubt, most days. I have good kids. Kids that know how to love and be loyal, like their mama, sometimes to a fault. But, I am glad they are like that because they are needed also, like their mama, just as they are. I am glad that life confirms that we have a place, even if it takes hard stuff to remind us, on some days.

Evan is a perfect example of all of this. He runs through the house everyday at the speed of lightning. About a dozen times per day he gets an owie and the first thing he does is seek out a kiss to heal it. Just a simple little kiss, a small hug, and a word of encouragement. Then he is back on his way to his next adventure until he needs his family to reassure him again that it is going to be ok.

I am like this with God some days, unfortunately. There are days when I remember to stop and snuggle on his lap and just rest in his arms. But, more days than not I run through life forgetting to stop and talk to Him until I get an owie. Then, the first thing I do is seek Him to help me get through the muck and the mire. I wish I were more mature, more adult in my relationship with Him. Maybe that is why we start out as children and then have children. To understand our need for something bigger.

I love the days when we just are. When there are no crisis to deal with, and we laugh. I love the days when we are in the middle of it all too because those days our true colors come out, and we get to see each other for who we really are. A family. People in need of love, acceptance, and just as importantly, forgiveness.