I have an escape artist living in my home disguised as a two year old. This morning after Steve went to work, and I was still sleeping, Evan decided he wanted to take a walk with his elephant and his drum.
He ALWAYS comes and crawls in bed with me, but not this morning. It was such a nice gray day that he walked down the street to the end of the block. Yes, the end of the block. There was a nice utility lady that brought him home.
Later, the nice policeman showed up at my house. I knew something was wrong prior to the policeman arriving because the door was not bolt-locked when I came downstairs. I knew he had escaped at that point, but I had no idea he had gone on a journey to the end of the street. I think I'll puke now! The police officer was very nice. This is worth mentioning because he could have been a real jerk and made my life miserable. I invited him in so he could see that it was simply a 2-year-old thing. I have kept 5 children completely safe before him. I am a good mom. I am a good mom. I am a good mom. I am trying to convince myself.
I am off to Lowes to get every kind of escape artist prevention paraphernalia I can find. A sensor for his bedroom door and the top of the stairs, a latch for the front door that even I will have to stand on a chair to reach, and a bar for the slider. Then I am going to buy superglue for all the windows and dismantle the garage door opener. Maybe then he will be safe and sound...
Update: My house is now so secure that if you open any door in the house, including his bedroom door, an alarm goes off that will shatter your eardrums or wake the dead...
Evan's response...He goes over, opens the front door, and says, "It's wooking", with a large grin on his face. I need an margarita...
3 comments:
What goes around comes around. What a funny and yet sort of inspiring story. It is always exciting to hear how man (women, boys, girls) express their love for freedom. You know what I mean. We sail the seas, conquer mountains, etc. and climb out of 3rd story log homes in the middle of the night and drive momma's RX-7 at high speeds. Remember those days? Congratulations Evan, you'll make a great adult man. Love, Grandpa
Don't you remember the bolt we had across our front door and the chain on the sliding glass door in the back? And the pool fence with padlocks? And the slippery door knob covers? And the anti-depressants I have been taking since our children arrived in our lives?
Boys are a different species.....
L, Kelly N.
LOL at grandpa! I love it!
p.s. sooooooooooooo happy he's ok. that story made my heart drop.
when you said this:
So, I am off to Lowes to get every kind of escape artist prevention paraphernalia I can find.
i laughed but, in a good way because i could imagine the entire trip to the store to get all that stuff. thanks for the heads up :)
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