Your Keys Stuck Where?

You need to visualize this...Stage: Baptist Church, Worship Music, Lots of People

Back in the day when I was a single mom....

I was on the divorce diet. I looked really good thankfully. It makes the story a little less painful. My kids and I had decided to go back to the church where we had gone when we first moved to the NW. It was full of little old ladies, and I needed to be loved on. It had grown a little and there were people just below my age that I had never met. You know, the ones who have one child, nice clothes because they were smart and went to college, nice butt because they have one child, nice hair that is not colored from a box found in the clearance isle, and their nails are done. She was sitting behind me with her husband who apparently went to the gym everyday.

I had walked in a little late and everyone was standing. I threw my keys down on the chair and finished the song. Announcement time: I sat down. Announcements over: I stood up. I started singing. I noticed nothing. I felt nothing. Then I heard my keys drop. Where did they drop from you ask? I was asking myself the same question. I looked back to find some obvious answer. There wasn't one. When I had sat down my keys must have stuck in my butt. Yes, you heard me right. It took a few minutes for gravity to jar them loose. That is when I heard the jingle.

In truth, I am glad I was the ones with the keys in my butt. If I had been the people sitting behind me I would have never recovered. I would still be laughing.

OK, share some love. Leave me acomment. I feel vulnerable. :-)