Well, I deleted my facebook...yes, I did.
I have no regrets.
Deactivated...
De cluttered...
I wasn't even sad!
Is that weird?
Am I a social outcast?
Who cares!
Bring it on!
"Crowded Loneliness"
A phrase that stuck in my head today.
A phrase that kind of stings.
A phrase I get.
I am surrounded by people.
Friends
Strangers
Family
But I have to admit there are days when I wonder...
Who would I call if things were hard with my man, my kids, my parents, MYSELF for goodness sake?
Who could I call to say, "I really screwed up today," without fearing judgement, rejection, or worse yet, that uncomfortable look in their eyes that says I shared too much, went a little too far? That look that says, "Let's be real, but...not that real."
I woke up with that question this morning, so...
I slowed down.
I looked.
And I found that there are...
People who will stop and say hi
People who want to talk
People who want to hear my junk
People who want to hear my rejoicing
People who will cry and laugh with me when it hurts
People who will cry and laugh with me when I am too overwhelmed with joy and no words will express it.
Wow!
That is simply...
Amazing
Breathtaking
I have been thinking about front porches today and what they represented years ago...
Relaxation
Community
Friendship
Peace
Fellowship
Can you hear the kids laughing and the dogs barking?
Can you feel the warm summer breeze that smells like fresh cut grass?
Wouldn't it be amazing to...
Take a walk in the evening?
See people sitting outside with the love of their life next to them?
Pass someone getting a little fresh air?
Notice someone playing with their kids?
Wouldn't it be nice if we were all a little less isolated?
Maybe it could be that way again if we slowed down.
Maybe it is time for a change.
Maybe I will sit on my front porch, take more walks, blow bubbles and watch my boys innocently chase them.
Maybe someone will walk by
and we can talk
face-to-face
simple conversation
or deep
Whatever...
Nothing planned
Just real
That sounds so amazing to me.
About a week ago, a friend of Steve's and mine dropped by to give us a hug. Maybe that is what started the ball rolling again in my head.
I loved it.
It felt so real to me.
I wasn't worried that I was still in my PJ pants or that my house wasn't perfect.
I was simply amazed that we were on his mind, and he acted on it.
I want to act on those feelings more.
Tonight I don't feel "crowded loneliness."
Here is to more front-porch moments.
I am starving for them.
See you Facebook.
I want the real deal!
3 comments:
Awesome Shellie! Yeah, front porch moments... love it! I'm so glad you're blogging again! You have such a beautiful heart!
Isn't it a shame that children can't run freely through the neighborhood, playing hid and seek or kick the can until their parents call them in at bedtime?
I LOVED THIS SHELLIE!!!!!! YAHOO!!!! I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to this blog. I have not been looking at people's blogs for awhile now but now that I've started back writing I am again. I just love the way you write from such profound purity of heart. Can I just say this? I LOVE YOUR HEART! I am so glad we got to talk on the phone last week and share. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I am so glad we met on "the porch" some years ago! How perfect! I look so forward to more time with you. I think this summer we are going ot have to do it. Breakout of our comfort zones a bit more, even like you said if we're in our jammies and our house is a wreck-challenging for me admittedly. That or we can take soem evening walks! (even runs) :) I think you are awesome for deleting FB! You go girl! You are so right and I am so with you. See you FACEBOOK. I WANT THE REAL, TOO!!! Keep writing. I want to hear MORE!!!
Love you. xoxo
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